Self Care...... and saying NO!

Your heard me girlfriend (or boyfriend) SELF CARE!   AKA self love, looking after oneself and sadly also quite commonly knowing as pampering and luxury.

Since when did it become pampering to want to have a hot bath with some nice bubbles and candles and whale music in the background.  "BUT I haven't got time... the world is going to fall to pieces because I've taken 45 minutes out of the day to do something for me!"

 
 
 
 

I only recently learnt this. 

My mum used to get up at 5am Mon to Fri and I knew she always had a bath first thing.    We were talking about sleep and of course I'm no early bird and I asked her how did she manage to get up at 5am everyday and did she ever feel like crying when that alarm went off?  

Her answer actually surprised me and knowing what I know now about looking after ourselves...I was very pleased (and relieved) to hear her reply. 

"It's not difficult because I get up and I have a bath for an hour.  That's my time that I get to spend on me and no one else, before you lot got out of bed.  How could I not want to do that for myself?" 

Now the words are not verbatim but it was along those lines and as I say I was actually GLAD my mother did that for HER!  Especially mother's (fathers you can argue all you want...) but mother's give their very being to their family.

Now I'm not saying that is wrong - but what I want to point out is that how would my mother have been had she not taken an hour for herself every day?  To relieve her stresses, to enjoy the quiteness of the house, to just BE, without us all nagging.

Another thing my mother said "If you can't do what makes YOU happy, how are you supposed to make your family happy?" and those words have stuck with me ever since.

In January I learnt a big lesson about NOT looking after myself - and you may know that I was rather ill.  I spent the best part of 4 weeks in bed and I hated every minute.  (Saying that I did come up with the Spanish Retreat during the last few days of my illness - out of boredom and desperation to actually get back to "work").  

This is where my mission for this year started... to take better care of myself and to do more for ME!

What do YOU do for YOURSELF?   Do you feel guilty when you do something for yourself like have your nails done or have a facial or even buy yourself a new top. (Shoppaholics that latter doesn't relate to you!).  Do you feel guilty when you say NO - do you ever say NO?  Do you feel selfish when your husband hasn't got his dinner on the table and you're having a hot bath? 

If you've answered YES to any of the above questions - my final question is this...

ARE YOU WORTH IT?

.....and that's not a rhetorical question.  Do you think YOU are worth looking after, so that you can give more to your family and to yourself????  

Obviously.....YES YOU ARE....

When I first started doing more for ME and saying more NO's to everyone else I felt like I wasn't entitled to this.  I felt like I was neglecting my family.  But you know what.....they got on just fine and the house is still standing in one piece (only just) BUT I allowed them to not NEED me every minute of the day.

Now they know - it's my bath time don't disturb me and unless they're dying for a wee they don't come near the bathroom :) 

I've become more relaxed, more refreshed, more energetic and enjoy my time more with the family because I'm not resenting them for having to be THERE all the time.

The first few times are hard to actually sit back and relax - but guess what IT GET'S EASIER and now you don't have to ask me twice to take a break!

This week try and focus on something for you?  Go and make that beauty appointment or that coffee with your girlfriends or even just have an extra long lie in on a Sunday!

Good Luck and remember YOU are worth it....and YOU ARE entitled to have some time out!

Warmest Hugs